I think I've lost my ability to create characters. For long I've been annoyed by myself of obsessing and thinking over characters that I created from age of 15-19  - and there's also this nagging feeling that there's no point in it.
It's been so long since I've come up with a "new character" that I don't even remember how to do it in the first place, or how I ever managed to do it. It's like these characters came to existence on their own, and somehow they keep living their lives in my head, without me having any control over them. Sometimes I feel insane because of that. Instead of being just fictional characters, they feel like childhood friends that I can't seem to forget about or shake them off, to move on to new friends and possibilities.
Sometimes I've wondered; what if I make a comic about their lives? But somehow I acknowledge that their lives are just interesting inside my head and would never work as one entity. They're too scrambled and all over, just like lives of people tend to. It's so weird to think that some of these characters have become more real to you than real people around you.
I don't know how to move on. But I think I have to, if I ever want to make anything, besides just random doodles for myself.

Has anyone else had a similar problem? Or is this even making sense in any way?



Or maybe I was never meant to be one to create. Just someone who keeps on drawing and practicing, until I find someone who will tell me what to draw. Still not sure if I'll be happy with just that.




I really need to get over this flu/fever and get back to work. And then I might realize how silly this whole journal entry is and delete it.